


Practice

by BurntGayPotato



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Caught, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oops, Practice Kissing, Sobbing, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, i breifly mention galaxy girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 01:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntGayPotato/pseuds/BurntGayPotato
Summary: When Evan goes to Zoe for advice on asking out her brother, she suggests practicing first, before the real thing.Disasterous results occur.





	Practice

**Author's Note:**

> heres some more treebros angst nobody asked for
> 
> HEY, IF U SESITIVE TO ANGST, NO READ THIS
> 
> IM LOOKING AT YOU @x_Michael_mell_x
> 
> CONTAINS:  
Zoe at one point grabs Evan and kisses him for practice without full consent, but I meant completely for Zoe's grip to be light enough that Evan could pull away any time if he truly wasn't comfortable  
Implied suicide that I didnt even mean to put in like all of the sudden my fingers were typing and poof- the words were there
> 
> I think my mental filter might be broken

"Hey, Connor?" Evan peered around his textbook on the floor where the two were studying. This wasn't exactly the ideal hangout, but Evan had a huge math test coming up, and insisted on working through the thick stack of practice sheets. "I-I gotta go talk to Zoe real quick, I have no clue what this equation means. She- um, she's in 12th grade math, right?"

"Yeah, sure, knock yourself out. Imma get some sodas while you're gone."

~

Of course, Evan wasn't going to Zoe for math homework. Not at all. He was going for a different kind of advice.

~

"It's eating me up inside Zoe! I just wanna fucking kiss him! He's your brother, do you know anything I can do?? Soft sides or something??" Evan screeched, practically tearing out his hair from sheer stress. He paced around her bedroom, trying to ground his racing mind. He focused on the plush purple carpet, the deep color, how soft it felt under his bare feet, and how Connor would describe the shade as 'plum'.

Damnit! Try again.

Zoe's whole room was organized chaos. Various shirts were hung up on random nails in the wall, with colorful sticky notes on them that said things like, 'Needs stain removal!" and 'Donation pile!'. It smelled like fabric softener in here. Is that what it would smell like if Evan cuddled with Connor?

_Damnit!_

"I can't fucking stop thinking about him!"

"Just confess! The worst that could happen - since it's obvious he's pining over you - is he kisses you back!" Zoe exclaimed.

"Here's the thing, Zo: I don't know how to kiss. I'll never be able to talk to him about this without at least knowing how to kiss first." Wait- did she say Connor was _obviously _pining over _him?? _When did _that _happen? Why didn't he notice?

Zoe rolled her eyes upon seeing Evan's expression. "Evan, this is my _brother _we're talking about. And trust me, he doesn't know how to kiss either. Unless he's been practicing on, like, fucking Jared."

Evan shook his head frantically. "That visual does _not help._" Zoe flung her arms in the air, exasperated.

"Well what am I supposed to-..." the younger got one of those 'I have an idea' looks on her face. "Oh, never mind, I have a plan." Evan raised his eyebrows.

"What...?" He stood there for a minute, confused.

"Nooooo nonono. I am _not _kissing you. I am _not ever-_ not that you aren't, like, attractive, I'm just, I'm not attracted to you- I love you like a sister, I'm sure you'll find someone soon though- in fact I think maybe Alana Beck-" 

"Evan, it's only practice. Plenty of people do it!" 

"No no no no no, this will end up like in the movies! Or in fanfiction, where someone does kissing practice, but they end up falling in love and I don't want you to fall in love with me, I have a crush on your godamn brother-"

"Oh for shits sake." Zoe grabbed Evan's cheeks and closed the gap between them. "Just, kind of follow my lead, 'kay?" she muttered.

"Um, okay..." 

Zoe guided Evan's hands to cup her cheeks, and indicated that he could move his thumb a little along her cheekbone. It took Evan a moment to really calm down, but once he had, he really seemed to catch on. They finally pulled away after maybe a minute.

"Okay, I think I see a little where that goes. Still nervous, but... thanks, Zoe." The two adopted twin smiles. 

"So, you ready to talk to Connor?" Zoe asked. Evan took a shaky breath.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Zoe gave him an encouraging thumbs up, but her smile faded when she glanced at the doorway.

Evan followed her gaze,

And his heart sank.

There, in the doorway, looking heartbroken was a teen in combat boots and an iconic black hoodie holding two orange soda cans that dripped with condensation.

"Connor." Evan whispered. The look on Connor's face was that of shock, heartbreak and misery.

Yet completely devoid of all emotion at the same time.

"Connor, I swear, this isn't- it's not what you think- it's quite the opposite actually! Of what you might be thinking!" 

He moved to grab the tall boy's hand.

But too late,

Loud running could be heard, boots on hardwood floor.

There was a stifled sob.

A door being flung open, the opener not bothering to close it back up.

Evan could feel it more than anything.

He was certain he just screwed everything up for good.

He had his chance with his love.

But he would never get it again.

There was a loud honk of a car horn from outside.

A squeal of brakes.

A shout of panic.

Connor was already gone.


End file.
